Episode 2: Taming The Tongue

Words, words, words, and more words. You know the average person says over 7,000 words per day, & actually another study found that our words per day count averages somewhere around 14,000 – 15,000 words per day. That’s a lot considering there are only 24 hours in the day. And this number is varied between men and women with the numbers skewing slightly higher on the female side (go figure – and even then is a debate we won’t get into of whether or not women talk more than men, which I don’t know if I agree with 100% because although men may seemingly not say a lot to us or while they’re at home, you get him around his friends and talking about something they’re actually interested in like sports or in the case of my husband, music or anything audio related, talk talk talk talk talk, all day. But anyway). For something we all do so much of, it’s time we really took a moment to step back and evaluate what’s coming out of our mouths on a daily basis. 

“I’m tired”, “I’m sick”, ”I’m sick and tired” sounds familiar? “We never communicate”, “You always do that”. “I’ll never be able to afford that.” “You never remember to take out the trash.”

Words have power. Let me say that again, Words have power. When we speak, imagine it’s like sending out soldiers, well-trained soldiers on a mission. With our words, we can build (build something beautiful or build walls) and we can tear down (tear down something or someone). You can literally make someone’s day just by saying something kind to them. And the reverse to that, you can upset someone’s entire week by saying something foolish. Anyone ever been in that situation where you were having a happy go lucky day and someone said something to you that just shook you and turned your entire day upside down? Words.

Please know and understand this. When you speak and you make a statement, you are making a declaration. Just because your statement isn’t preceded by the words “I declare” does not stop it from being a declaration that was created & authorized by you. Just by opening your mouth and uttering words, you are by nature declaring and releasing action into the atmosphere. Think about that the next time you find yourself about to say something to anyone. And know that words like, “always” & “never”, carry a heavy weight with them because you’re essentially putting your declaration on repeat. I’ll never be able to do that. Never? So what you’re saying is if i tried it today I won’t be able to do it and if I tried on my dying bed I still won’t be able to do it. I’m always stressed out. Always? So at all times, every single conversation, every single day, just stress that you are now giving permission to be present in your everyday life.

Hey girl, how are you doing today? I’m just hanging in there, I’m barely getting by. Hanging in there? Barely getting by? No no no no no. This is not the life God wants for us and we need to start first by speaking those things that are not as though they were so even if it was a crummy day, hey girl how are you doing today? I’m doing great, I cannot & will not complain, today may not have been the best but I’m looking forward to tomorrow which will be better. 

Hey, look at this diamond necklace. Girl I’m too poor to afford that. Let me tell you when it comes to finances (and we’ll do another episode specifically about handling finances) if you find yourself ever uttering the words I am poor out of your mouth, stop it right now and don’t let it come out of your mouth again. Being poor is a state of mind. You may be temporarily out of funds at the moment, but you are not poor. Especially if you are a child of God. You may be low on supplies, low on this low on that but God is a provider and a sustainer and He makes sure you have whatever you need. So your response should change to, when my financial situation lines up with my inheritance, I will see if I like that necklace enough to spend the money on it. I’m Temporarily out of funds at the moment, but check back later. 

Now I understand that this may on the surface seem like a stretch in our minds but I pray even now that our lives would begin to transform as we renew our minds. The Bible says in Proverbs 13:3; “Whoever guards his mouth (they watch what they say, when and how) preserves his life; but he who opens wide his lips (talk talk talk) comes to ruin.  It also says in Matthew 12:36; “that on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak.” Why? Because words have power. Life and death lies in the power of the tongue.

This is why waking up every morning and declaring over your life is so important. You need to set the course of your day, every day. Send your words on assignment to prepare the way. If you need help with thinking of something, visit our website theprayingwife.com and I have 8 powerful declarations to command your morning you can download for free and also follow us on Facebook & Instagram because we post daily declarations to help get you in the habit of declaring daily. 

We have to be so careful of the words that we speak. Sadly, though we’re speaking thousands of them a day, words are something that you cannot take back. We can say “I take that back” all day, but the words you said have already been spoken and in many cases already cut someone deep and sometimes it is deep enough to the point where it is not repairable. Thank God that He is a loving forgiving Father and He remembers we are but meer dust. But you’re going to run into people who are not as forgiving. So many relationships & friendships have ended over something that was said. Proverbs 18:19 says; “A brother who has been insulted is harder to win back than a walled city, and arguments separate people like the barred gates of a palace.”

It’s so true. Because words cut so deep. When it comes to our children, the things we say to our kids – parents listen to me, be careful of what you say to your children when you’re calm and what you say to them when you’re not so calm. Being a mother of 3 I can confess that this is not the easiest thing to do sometimes but as I grew more in the Lord I started becoming spiritually and situationally aware of how what I do and more so what I say affects my children’s lives. Saying things like, “Girl you have lost your mind or Are you crazy? You’re so stupid or you’re going to grow up to be just like your no-good father. These words cut… deep, they linger in their little minds and they live with them as they grow up and if not broken can very well end up as their portion in life because it was declared on them since they were little children.

And I hope I don’t offend anyone when I say this, but it’s also important that we’re careful what we name our children. You can be speaking blessings, curses or nothing over them every single time you call their name and over their lifespan if you think about it, that’s a lot of declarations. Names are important. This is why we see God multiple times in the Bible, change people’s names. Abram meant Exalted or Noble Father but when God called him & made him a promise to greatly increase his descendants he changed his name to Abraham which means Father of many. It was the beginning of the change of the trajectory of Abraham’s life. Now anytime Sarah called him or his friends called him, they were declaring and coming into agreement with the word God had spoken in his life. So take heed of what you call your child, whether it’s their full nam or a nickname. Do not let culture decide and dare I say just because it was the name of that character on that show or movie you like doesn’t mean it’s the right name for your child. Check the meaning and as always, check with God. Okay let me move on from there before I get some emails.

But you know, even if my kids are sick. I do not like to utter those words, “my child is sick”, especially without follow-ups. What do I mean by that. I got in the habit of adding a follow-up so instead of just saying “my child is sick”,  I may say she’s not feeling well at the moment but she will be fine, she’s already healed. I acknowledge the current state of the situation but I follow up with a declaration to activate the change. 

You can’t control everything around you, as a matter of fact, there’s a lot around us we cannot control. But what we can control is our response to what’s around us. How we respond to the situation we are in. And when we respond to our situation, the words that we speak are so powerful that it can literally shape the outcome and the outlook of that situation.

Now If you find yourself always being a Debbie downer, always speaking negatively about yourself and/or others. Check your heart. “For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of” (Matthew 12:34; Luke 6:45). (The more popular translation says out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks) So if your heart is full of anger, bitterness, envy and listen to this one: hurt. If your heart has been broken and you’re dealing with hurt, don’t be surprised if you start speaking words that hurt others. I heard the saying hurt people hurt people and it’s true. It’s not to say every hurt person will try to hurt someone, no because you have some people who have been hurt that used that experience to promise they’ll never be like that. And that’s the best way to demonstrate not having power to control the situation but having the power to control the response.

So ask God to create in you a clean & a pure heart so your speech begins to change.

It is my prayer that God will meet us where we are and first forgive us for every careless word that we’ve spoken. I break every curse that was set for you and your family and I release God’s blessings over your life. We render powerless every careless word spoken that would negatively affect our future or our children’s future and we ask that the Holy Spirit would guide us to all truth and teach us how to tame our tongue and skillfully use our words so that we edify, glorify and bring honor to God in Jesus name!!  Amen!

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2 years ago

I needed this more than you know! My husband and I just got into a heated argument over his tone with my son (from a previous marriage). I changed my tone and came at him the wrong way which caused us to argue. Reading this I now see my error—2 wrongs do not make a right. He isn’t very religious so I know he will not read this if I send it to him, but I pray that if I keep praying that one day he will be closer to God and we can work through our mishaps together and not just me. It sure does get tiresome carrying the load.

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