Words are extremely powerful and they are the very thing in which we can never take back, no matter how much we say, “I take that back” or “Ignore what I just said”. Once a word has been spoken, it is firmly implanted on the memory banks of the one who received it. Let’s face it… we’re all humans. We all get annoyed, upset, disappointed, hurt and anything else you can think of. Our natural instinct is to respond to and to protect from, and in most cases, we use our words to do that very thing.
In Proverbs 18:21 the writer declares, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.”
With words being as powerful as they are, we should take extra precaution, especially as wives, to not say something to our husbands that we’d wish we could take back. Communication, or lack thereof, can single highhandedly break a marriage. As wives, we must understand that a man’s ego & confidence is very much a real thing and it can be broken with even the slightest negative word and built up with even the smallest compliment. What we say to our husbands matter and we should choose our words very carefully.
“A bruised ego is not one that is quickly recoverable.” ~ Corain
Sometimes it’s easy to disregard the need to watch our tone or the words we say in the middle of a heated argument or when we feel the need to lash out in response to something that was said or done to us. But one thing that I have learned over the years is to be still, and in being still, to be silent. My mom always told me, if you have nothing good to say, don’t say anything at all. Although this can seem as avoidance, it has helped me dramatically in being careful to not say the wrong thing.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not telling you to not have a voice in your marriage or to not share with him how you’re feeling or how you didn’t appreciate something that was said or done. Open communication is critical to keeping a marriage healthy and strong. It’s about knowing when the right time is to say something and even more so what words should never be spoken even if you’re upset. I find myself immediately stopping and taking a deep breath to consider the things I want to say to my husband before I say it. Almost 100% of the time, I end up rearranging and adjusting a word or two to deliver the same point that needed to be said.
One thing that is an absolute no no is cursing at my husband (or anyone else for that matter). Now as good Christian women, of course we would never utter a bad word (insert smile here) but if you’re like me, sometimes an argument can drag me to the point where I’m about to utter an unholy word or two. But in that very moment, I immediately close my mouth, take a deep breath and think of other ways to address what I want to say. Remember that words are things you cannot get back and they can cut deeper than a knife. So, today and every day, be careful little mouths what you say!